On the bridge between Mennonite and Catholic shores

The authors participate in the activities of Bridgefolk, “a movement of sacramentally-minded Mennonites and peace-minded Roman Catholics who come together to celebrate each other's traditions, explore each other's practices, and honor each other's contribution to the mission of Christ's Church” (Bridgefolk website).

Even if we grow up hearing stories of the Good Samaritan and the Woman at the Well, we may be more hesitant to seek out those who are different from us in real life. And that may be true all the more if we have grown up in a community where everyone knows everyone else and they all have a lot in common. (This can be true in faith communities, too, unfortunately. Sometimes we become educated beyond our faithfulness.) 

But if we are to be true to the ways of Jesus, it may be important to look across the river, and get to know our neighbour on the other side. Sometimes surprising things happen when we venture out and stretch our comfort zones. Our story is one of those examples.

Laura

I learned about the Reformation at my Mennonite high school. I learned that many 16th-century Catholics did not treat the early Anabaptists well (understatement). In grade eleven, I went on exchange to Germany, where I was to live with a Catholic family. At first I was worried about how I would be treated as a Mennonite, history considered. It turned out that they didn't know anything at all about Mennonites and were certainly not inclined to burn anyone at the stake. Things had changed a lot in 500 years, much to my relief. It was then that I started to learn about contemporary Catholics.

This education continued during one of my terms of voluntary service with Mennonite Central Committee (MCC). I was placed in a Catholic-run organization. My direct supervisor was a delightful nun named Sister Brigid. The Catholics I worked with knew a lot more about Mennonites than the German family I lived with in high school. They highly respected the work of MCC and appreciated the work I did with them. (They were also not at all inclined toward burning anyone at the stake.)

Over the years that I worked there, I had many delightful conversations with the sisters, including very respectful and engaging theological conversations. I learned a great deal about the Roman Catholic ethos in that time. Later, as I explored my gifts in spiritual direction, I was drawn to St. Benedict's Conference and Retreat Centre (just a short drive north of Winnipeg) and the two-year formation training program they offered for spiritual directors. Again, I found myself learning among Catholics.

Gilbert

I remember as a child, playing with the other children in the neighbourhood. There was one girl about my age who came from a family my dad called "Protestant," and I wasn't allowed to play with her because of that. I remember feeling a strong reaction to the unfairness of the barriers. I also remember an "ecumenical Sunday" and a sermon by a local Protestant pastor visiting our Roman Catholic parish. One quote still stands out in my memory: "You go to your church and I'll go to mine. But let's walk along together!" That idea had a lot of resonance with me.

My own awareness of Mennonites in particular came much later. I remember Catholic teens in Ste. Anne talking about Mennonites in Steinbach in a way that perpetuated negative stereotypes. The teens would mock the Mennonite hockey players who would apologize after checking another player. But I thought to myself, that's not a bad thing—to be a little polite about it.

Later on, my dad taught in a Hutterite colony. He was interviewed about his faith and he was impressed by the Hutterites' faith and dedication.

Laura and Gilbert

We met through friends, and for a while we were distant acquaintances. At one point, though (a much longer story!), we realized that our relationship was developing into much more. By our second date, we felt the need to explore the deeper issues of our faith backgrounds. We discussed issues such as women in ministry, lifestyle issues, and authority. It was an intense second date!  By the end of it we knew that there was a lot of common ground between us.

Soon after that, people we knew started mentioning a group called Bridgefolk. This was a group of Catholics and Mennonites who met together annually to talk about theological issues. That sounded intriguing to us. We learned that their motto was “to proceed through friendship.” It sounded like a group worth checking out.

In the summer of 2013 Bridgefolk held its first meeting in Canada, at Conrad Grebel University College, in Waterloo, Ont. We decided to go and made a road trip out of it. There were a lot of new faces and stories, and as newcomers to the group, we found it hard to keep straight who was who. There were a lot of people who, like us, were new to the group and were exploring what Bridgefolk was about.

One person used the analogy of crossing a bridge. You may meet someone on it who is going the opposite direction from you who says, “Don't bother going over there, there isn't much that's worth it.” We have met a few people like that, mostly explorers like us. But we have also met people who are vision carriers, who seemed to hold both sides of deep value and who cherished theological and relational conversations between the two sides.

We wondered how our relationship would be viewed among these folks. We felt welcomed with open arms. There may have been some surprise from some participants, but some people were also impressed that the differences between the two groups could be bridged in literal marriage as well.

We had a lot to process on the way home and we had many kilometres in which to do it. The next conference was to be held at St. John's University in Collegeville, Minn. That was only a six-hour drive (plus a border) away. We decided that what we had experienced with Bridgefolk was worth a second visit.

During our second conference, we gained a deepened sense of Bridgefolk. People we met last year remembered us with joy, and other members who missed last year's conference were genuinely interested to get to know us. There was another couple, who, like us, married “on the bridge,” whose delightful story we heard during the ice-cream social one evening.

For the 2014 gathering, the planners choose a theme for the weekend together—service. Two speakers encouraged listeners to involve our heads as well as our hearts as we navigate the bridge between us. In addition to theological conversations, we were invited to choose various acts of service together (embodying this year's theme), had a hymn-sing, discussed theological reflection papers, and participated in a foot-washing ceremony. Our time together seemed to fly by and once again, we were processing our experiences on the road going home.

For us, Bridgefolk is a good model of how to navigate differences in our faith backgrounds, in a spirit of love.

Sometimes it feels like the walls between denominations are becoming more porous. We can each value the gifts of our own tradition while appreciating the gifts of other traditions as well. I (Laura) can value Mennonite theology of simplicity, peace and service while appreciating the long and deep heritage of Catholic spirituality and liturgy. I (Gilbert) can value the richness and depth of my own RC tradition while being inspired by how Mennonites put their faith into action in profound and meaningful ways. Bridgefolk is a place where people understand this mutual appreciation, and at the same time, feel the pain of institutional separation. For us folk meeting on the bridge, there is the added gift of community, as we get to know and love our neighbours, despite our differences.

We are already looking forward to next year's conference, scheduled for August 20-23, 2015, at Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary in Elkhart, Ind. More information is at www.bridgefolk.net.

Gilbert Detillieux and Laura Funk have been married for over eight years and live in Winnipeg, where Laura works as a spiritual director and retreat speaker and Gilbert works in information technology support. He attends St. Paul the Apostle Roman Catholic Church, and together they attend Hope Mennonite Church.

—Posted Nov. 14, 2014

See also:

Mennonite and Catholic communion: Reflections on an experience at the Bridgefolk conference